how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
