its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
