I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
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