They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
