even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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