Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
only if we run a train.
done.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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