whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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