just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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