I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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