dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
