She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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