I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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