You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
