You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize