There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Sacagawea was the original milf.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
