I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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