dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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