i just had sex bonerless
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
