if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
