this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
