It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
