Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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