Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Why are your pants in the freezer?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
