also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I think people are normalizing furries
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize