Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
