Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
