Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
