Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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