real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
