butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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