I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
