what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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