So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
