we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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