You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
