dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
