Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just want to make out with him forever
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize