I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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