i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
