We're facebook friends in real life
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
