if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
