There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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