i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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