Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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