Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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