"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
