It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
