I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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