So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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