last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
