Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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