i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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