you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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