i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize