I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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