Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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