I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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