My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
