carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
