Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Randomize
