I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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