Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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