All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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