I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize