K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
