As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
it was like eating out sand paper
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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