I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
