before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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