im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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