I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
