why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
