This girl is more easily done than said...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
