I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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