there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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