so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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