Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
ugly people sure do ruin things
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just found puke in my bra..
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
